I realised for a long time I had been forcing myself to do what I 'should' do and putting what I want to do second. Before I was doing the meditation I'm doing now, that approach was largely driven by anxiety. When most of that anxiety disappeared through meditation, I was left feeling flat a lot of the time. Recently, I re-engaged what I wanted to do by having a daily goal where I would do that thing I wanted to do. Today, it was setting up a new EFTPOS machine our organisation just got. I wanted to do that yesterday as well but competing demands overran it. (Sounds familiar? 😬)
By having that goal yesterday and working towards it, it seemed the Universe was throwing up a lot of challenges and bringing up minds. When I finally got the chance to do a short meditation a lot was discarded in that 15 minutes. That night, I did a meditation with my partner and also had a fun conversation. I had intriguing dreams about deep self reflection on dreaming itself. Today, my interest was much more focused on my dream than on the EFTPOS machine, but I got to play with that new toy anyway. On the same day, I signed up for a workshop on starting a new business. It seems that by trying new things and following my passion things are becoming clearer and more fun.
